I have several confessions to make that is going to shock you all ... ... I've been eating health food. No, I have not been taken hostage by PETA, or a band of angry vegans. I am not being force to type this against my will. I haven't had a beer in weeks or nary a drop of rum in months and months. I've been exercising. Oh I hear your jaws hitting the floor all across the globe. What the hell Travis? Are you possessed by the green devil that is lettuce? Are you under a court o

Things are crazy around the mall during Christmas time, and they get even crazier when you can count the number of shopping days left without having to unzip your pants. (i.e. - less than ten days for those who geniuses and don't have to count things out on your fingers or for those of a gender that unzipping your pants doesn't not help) That's the time frame for this story. I believe it was the last Saturday before Christmas and the mall was staying open until midnight. Ok

When you mention mall Santa's, most people think of kids, and probably 90% of the people who stood in line and came to sit on my lap were under the age of twelve. Then you had the older kids who hated to be there, but their parents still wanted that yearly picture so they forced them to shuffle up and plop down beside Santa in the over-sized chair. There was no way those 'tweens and teenagers were about to sit on my, or any other Santa's lap. Then there were the older people,