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Yes Ma'am, Right Away Ma'am.

My recent rants about Lady Luck and Karma got me to thinking. The best of the world's mystical, mythical, and all-powerful forces are all feminine of nature.

Lady Luck- Everyone longs for a visit from her since we all know it is far better to be lucky than good.

Karma- Has to be feminine. No man could ever be that patient and subtle in exacting revenge.

Mother Nature- She just might be the cruelest of all, but at the same time we've all been inspired by a truly beautiful day. And we've all wished for good weather at some point.

The Tooth Fairy- Sure you can question her authenticity. You might even say she's not all powerful, But you can't deny she's got some serious financial backing. Heck, millions of kids are willing to let their parents tie a string to their teeth and yank out part of their body just to earn a visit from her.

Fairy Godmother- I just got one thing to say. Ain't nobody ever heard of a fairy godfather, so either she had him whacked, or he's forced to stay home and feed the chickens while she's all soaking up all the glory.

So what about us men? Who do we have on our side?

Father Time- Sure he catches up to everybody in the end but once you turn twenty-one nobody ever hopes to see him. Entire industries have come about for the sole purpose of defeating father time. Whatever power he has is negated by the fact his is despised across the globe.

Santa Claus- A fat man in a red velour suit that only visits once a year? There are a lot of people with uncles that fits that general description. And then come every December you can find thousands of impostors. In malls, on street corners ringing bells. You ever see anybody dare dress up like Lady Luck and pretend to speak on her behalf. Didn't think so.

The Easter Bunny- First off his gender is questionable. Do we really know if he is male or female, but I'll contend that if The Easter Bunny is male then he is a gay man bunny. No straight man would ever have chosen all those pastel colors. And sure candy is nice, but give the cold hard cash of the Tooth Fairy any day. That way I get to pick my own candy.

Cupid- A tiny naked dude with a bow and arrow? Excuse my language, but he can only be described as a traitorous S.O.B. Sure he's male, but his entire agenda is to lure us libidinous men over to the control women. And we go willingly. Cupid is the Benedict Arnold of mystical forces.

I'm sure I'm missing a few names among the all-powerful, but you get my idea.

#Rants #Theories #Humor

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