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Take Two of These, and Call Your Bookie

You know how there are jillions of pharmaceutical ads on the TV these days. The only thing I find interesting about these commercials is the laundry list of side effects ... may cause dryness of mouth, headache, diarrhea, bleeding gums, sore fingernails, swollen glands, aching armpits, heavy molting of chest hair, and blood laced urine.

To me it always sounds as if the side effects are worse than the original problem. Then the other day i heard the side effects for some new drug that is supposed to help with restless leg syndrome. I watched for the ad again to be sure I'd heard right there after the usual cases of ... may cause dizziness, headaches and what not was this gem ... May cause an increase in gambling activity and sexual urges Finally, some worthwhile side effects. Before we know it casinos will start dissolving a couple of tablets of this stuff in you free cocktail. Not only will you be able to sit at the table longer because your legs will feel better, but you will want to gamble more, and hey when you are done losing your money, there's a brothel right next door that happens to take credit cards. But I have a theory. These side effects are utter BS. My gut says some dude who works for the company came up with them. My guess is he was taking the medicine himself and went out to Vegas for the weekend. Lady Luck probably deserted him too resulting in heavy casualties to his savings account. Seeking a bit of solace, he hired a bit of "companionship" for the night and then flew home. Then his wife looked at the bank statement and credit card bill where she found a five hundred dollar charge from Sugar Bunny's Escort service or some other such business. Now this guy being fairly sharp quickly admitted he'd done wrong, but only because he wasn't able to control his gambling activity or sexual urges. It had to be the new medicine. And somehow, he convinced his boss these side effects were real and now there they are, tacked on to the very end of that commercial. I say that was one fast thinking fellow.

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