I have several confessions to make that is going to shock you all ...
... I've been eating health food.
No, I have not been taken hostage by PETA, or a band of angry vegans. I am not being force to type this against my will.
I haven't had a beer in weeks or nary a drop of rum in months and months.
I've been exercising.
Oh I hear your jaws hitting the floor all across the globe. What the hell Travis? Are you possessed by the green devil that is lettuce? Are you under a court ordered mandate not to have any booze? What about bacon? Tell me you haven't forsaken bacon?
I have. No bacon for me in well over a month.
So what gives you ask?
My gut it turns out. It gave way. Back in May life raised up a big old sledgehammer high above her head and in one swift blow brought it crashing down onto my life. I pretty much went a month without eating or sleeping much at all in the midst of great personal stress. Turns out that shit is bad for you. I June my colon ruptured. Or more accurately perforated in two places but no surgery was required. I can't blame the stress entirely after all my eating habits have never been great, but my tailspin continued. After a five day hospital stint my gut continued to plague me. The doctors put me on antibiotics and Id feel okay until I finished the cycle and two days later I'd be back bent over unable to stand up. The doctors pretty much decided it was time to hack out 13 inches of my intestinal track. But I was reluctant to do that.
Then finally about about two weeks ago, some caring friends called me and said, "Travis we know this isn't really your thing, but something has to give so we went to the health food store and bought you everything you need to follow this regiment set forth by the guy who owns the place. He says in three days you will feel markedly better and in 30 days you will be cured of this pain."
So I went reluctantly and picked up the stuff. This nutritionist advised me to stop my antibiotics and flood my system with good bacteria. So for three painful night I drank bottles of this rancid chunky buttermilk like stuff called Flora Lac and it was painful in a whole new way. But damned if by day three I wasn't feeling a a thousand times better. i could actually straighten up and walk without holding my guts in.
After that was shakes for breakfast and lunch and a dinner consisting of foods on the good list. There was also a bad list of stuff I couldn't have including all the things I love like bacon, beer, and brats. But here I am going on the third week and my gut is pain free for the first time in months.
No I'm still not eating lettuce or salads but bananas apples, dates, organic meat, no processed meat, or processed food of any kind. And no alcohol.
So its been a rough summer my friends but if there is one positive from all the stress and my new eating restrictions it is the fact I've gone from just north of three hundred pounds, down to a svelt two-forty something. About 65 pounds in all so far.
Heck I even got the old beard trimmed up.
Hope your summer is going well and remember there is still time to jump in and pledge early support to my upcoming Kickstarter campaign. Everyone who commits to contributing within the first two days of launch will get an extra bonus reward on top of those that will be offered to all contributors. Just shoot me an email firstname.lastname@example.org to be included in this growing list.