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What the Hell?

So I read a couple of interesting things this weekend. Both made me think ... What The Hell?

From my last post you know I've eating healthier by necessity. That does not mean I've gone meat free. I would starve if that was the case it just means I now shell out three times the price for free range, never had growth hormone, or antibiotics chicken. Guess what folks? It still tastes like Chicken.

But I've been reading about nutrition and I came across an article about a new vegan, non meat burger that wait for it ... bleeds.

What the hell?

First off it doesn't really bleed. It oozes beat juice. Now these soy patties of nastiness are no doubt

horrid enough without infusing them with beet juice, but taste aside here is what I don't get. Why the hell would a vegan want a burger that mimics blood?

Seems like a Christian wanting a bible with nude pictures in it. Isn't most vegans gospel about the cruelty to animals? Isn't bloodless meals the point for their crusade? This falls in the same line as the asinine comments of ... Here try this grilled mushroom it tastes just like steak.

No, steak tastes like steak. And if I want to taste steak I'm going to eat steak. If I want a bloody hamburger, I'm going to eat a bloody hamburger. actually I like my steaks medium to medium rare but ground beer I prefer medium-well. So hold the blood even on a real burger. It only gets my bun soggy. And speaking of buns, I'm gonna kick you square between yours if you get beet juice anywhere near my burger.

I'm a meat and cheese only kind of guy when it comes to burgers but don't these meatless burger eaters realize that they are sticking a plant based patty on a bun which comes from a plant. Then they add the green devil otherwise known as lettuce, a tomato, and this sick creatures probably ladle on guacamole too. Come on man. You might as well head out to the garden and bend over to start grazing like the very cows they are so desperate to save.

Maybe the saying has been spelled wrong all these years. maybe it really reads. If you can't beet 'em, join 'em.

Moo'ving on.

Truman Capote. What does he have to do with cows and vegans? Not much that I know of but hey he did write In Cold Blood. Who knows, had he been alive today maybe he'd write a sequel called In Cold Beet Juice.

But Capote is not alive. Hasn't been for 32 years.

Now his ashes are going up for bid at auction.

I have always been intrigued by Capote and his relationship with Harper Lee. Who help who. Did he help her write To Kill A Mockingbird? did she really write In Cold Blood? Who doesn't love a good literary rumor?

But my intrigue doesn't not extend to a morbid fascination with the cremated ashes of Capote. Actually just half of the ashes. I wonder which half you are getting? Upon his death half went to his partner, and half to his Johnny Carson's ex wife who was Capote's friend. It is Carson's half going up for sale.

And the guesstimated price is somewhere between $4 and $6 grand.

Save your money people. If you want to invest in a literary endeavor I suggest you take part in my Kickstarter campaign when I launch it Wednesday night at approximately 9 PM central time.

Here is the deal folks. I am basically pre-selling copies of my work that I am releasing on my brand new publishing venture Barbadum Books. You are donating nothing as every contribution will receive merchandise of some sort. Contributions start for as little as $5 and go up depending what package you opt for.

The thing with Kickstarter is contribution are only accepted if the project reaches its pre-stated goal. My goal is $3500 ( that is at least $500 less than you would spend for half a deceased author) to re-release The Feedstore Chronicles with not only a new cover but an audio version, re-release Twisted Roads, and to bring the world a brand new novel titled Waiting On The River. The funds are needed for cover work, studio time, ebook formatting, and of course editing and finally marketing.

What I really need is early contributors. The funds are not deducted from you card or account until the last day of the campaign. So even if you are waiting on a payday please consider contributing early on as that build momentum and encourages others to contribute as well.